Happy New Year 2010

A year has changed.
Leaving us so many stories behind.

Sometimes we call this story as “a good memory”,
so that we want to recall it many times.
It is such a time when we like to play our favorite music on our CD player.
We replay it again and again, till satisfying our needs.

But, sometimes we also find “a bad story”,
so that we don’t want to keep it in our memory.
If possible, we may want to delete it in our mind.
Or we may pretend that those moments have never happened in our life.

Indeed, there is no such a good or bad story.
When the rain drops,
Some people call it “a disaster”,
Because it may cause flood.
But, some people may also call it “a gift”,
Because the rain water made the dry field wet.

Again, there is no such a good or bad story.
It is only a matter of our way of seeing.
If we want to see it as a good thing, then a good story will manifest.
But if we want to see it as a bad thing, then a bad moment will appear.

A year has changed.
Leaving us so many stories behind.

No matter how good or how bad the stories that we have last year,
Unfortunately, these moments did not belong to us anymore.
Because these have already become our past.
And what we have now is our present time.

So, let’s start this year with gratitude.
Gratitude will help us to become the “owner” of our life.
Gratitude is also one of the ways to raise our consciousness.
Through gratitude, there will be no good or bad story anymore,
Because we consciously decide whether it will become a “good or bad” story.

Happy New Year 2010
May peacefulness dan happiness will always be with you.

Written by : Ati Paramita
Photo : Starting a day with gratitude at Lempong Pucung, Cilacap by Three Wy

Reflection is a way to improve our life

Photo : Reflection in the water by Ati Paramita

When we encounter a complex problem in life

Have you ever entered into a labyrinth? Labyrinth is a maze with an intricate structure of interconnecting passages, but it seems does not have an entrance and exit doors, so that will be very difficult to find a way out. A labyrinth actually has both entrance and exit doors, however those are hidden in the alley.Therefore, when we enter into a labyrinth, we often find the wrong direction and it forces us to try it again and again. The more we feel panic, the more we find difficulties to get a way out of a labyrinth. We will only go around and spin in a labyrinth, because we feel trapped and we can not see the way out.
Sometimes in life, we often encounter a complex problem in which we feel that it is really hard to find a way out. It is such an analogy of entering into a labyrinth.

There are several possible causes. Our unrealistic perspective, our mind which is dominated by our ego, our impatience to make efforts and to wait for a result, our limited time, the conflict of interests of everybody around us and there are many other reasons that make us feel stuck and be a victim of the situation.

When we are in such condition, there are several tips that I could share to overcome this situation:

First, acknowledge that indeed we have a problem. We may cry, shout, share it to other people or compensate it to other things. However, we should not run away from the reality. Embrace and face the problem. Because no matter how fast we run out of the problem, we still have to face similar problem at another time. If we ignore to settle the problem when it comes, sometimes the impact of the problem could be more complicated in the future. Therefore, keep in mind that actually a problem is not a bad thing, because it serves as a way of reflection or "homework" to correct our inappropriate attitude in order to be more mature in life.

Second, calmness or tranquility is the second key word. A problem will not be solved only because we force to solve it. The more we become panic and impatience, the more our mind become overloaded, distracted and exhausted. Providing the opportunity for resting our mind, such as doing meditation, relaxation or praying; our mind will recover from its exhaustion and will be ready to provide a way out.When we are at the state of peace, we listen with attention and totally present, therefore it opens many possibilities of solutions.

Third, be grateful.Gratitude is appreciation for everything (place, people, life, thing) surrounds us. Through gratitude we learn to appreciate everything and to see it with the different eyes. Therefore, gratitude is a key to boundless opportunity when we get caught in our limited certainty, because through seeing with different eyes and appreciation, we will find the real values of everything surrounds us and these will give us an opportunity to see many possible ways out of problem.

Fourth, sometimes we just need a problem to be solved by its time. Do we realize that so far we have developed a habit of wanting everything right now, at this moment and not a second later? Everything requires efforts. In this case, patience is the next keyword, because patience taught us to learn and to wait. Furthermore, patience will help us to analyze the problems step by step and to set up a priority scale of the things that we have to do.

Fifth, in setting up a priority scale, try to give priority to settle the main source of problem, not just the symptoms of problem. The difference of solving the main problem and the symptom is solving the main problem will have a long term and bigger impacts. But, it requires more efforts and more patience. If we are impatience and try to find an "instant solution", it will be effective only for short term. A peaceful mind will help to distinguish the main problem and the symptoms, because through peace we learn to settle our ego and to see the problem as it is.

Sixth, after finding a priority scale of the problem, then set up a planning and focus to solve them one by one. Focus means to direct our attention, to optimize our resources (energy, money, attention, and strategy) and to make our best efforts to settle the problem. If we focus to handle our problem seriously and persistently, the universe will open the door for a lot of solutions and help us to settle the rest of our problem.

The last but not least, if we have done our best, but then everything is happened not according to what we want. Just let it and follow the flow. Sometimes the universe has a better and more comprehensive planning than our own planning. Our narrow way of thinking sometimes is not always in line with what the universe designs for us. Following the flow means that we open for any possibility not only in our planning but also in our implementation. This will teach us to become more flexible for accepting any opportunity in life. As far as we could understand what the universe intends to us, just follow it, and it will provide the best and the most appropriate solution for us, no matter what it is.

So, if you encounter a complex and difficult problem in life, you don't have to be panic. Because indeed there are many solutions available there. Sometimes we could not see these solutions because our ego is too dominant and our way of seeing is too narrow. Therefore, through a peaceful mind, we will be able to see a lot of possibilities and to find a way out. Good Luck !

Written by Ati Paramita
Photo : A labyrinth in Drielanden by Ati Paramita

The Unity in Diversity

Photo : The unity in diversity of tulip flowers by Ati Paramita

The harmony of diversity

I visited Taman Mini Indonesia Indah last week for refreshing. It’s nice, because it has been around 15 years I did not visit there. It was such a journey of tracing back to my childhood, at the time when I started to learn about diversity and to understand that there were a lot of different cultures in Indonesia.

Taman Mini Indonesia Indah (TMII) is also known as a Beautiful Miniature Indonesia Park. It is a recreational area located in East Jakarta, where we can see the beauty of cultural diversity representing through various traditional houses, architectures, clothes, and dances of almost all provinces in Indonesia. It’s beautiful, not only because of those various attractions, but also the unique atmosphere. There are several other interesting objects which we can see in TMII such as museums, planting gardens, swimming pool, bird park, and many things.

But, among all of those visiting points, the most interesting aspect for me is when I stopped by at several religious houses which were build in the same area and close to each other, such as a Mosque for Moslem, a Church for Catholic, a Church for Protestant, a Vihara for Buddhist and a Pura for Hindus. These religious houses are not only replica, but also real. It means these can be utilized for praying and conducting various religious services and activities. I feel grateful to see that in fact we can stay close to each other in harmony by respecting the differences of others.

Talking about the diversity, there are a lot of diversities in our life such as nationality, culture, religion, political party, ideology, etc. For me, the diversity is something unique that could enrich our live. But for some people, sometimes it is difficult to accept the diversity around us and even they often see it as a problem. For example, the fighting between different religious followers, the unfair competition between different political parties to win for the election, the battle between different nations and there are many things.

In fact, every body is born as a unique creation; it means no one is designed in the same condition. Indeed this diversity has so many benefits, such as it could expand our view, because we could get the opportunity to know that there is another side of life, so that we can learn from others. It will enlarge our horizon and improve our way of thinking to see the thing or a problem as a whole. It will also enhance our creativity, because through diversity we could see the various kinds of solutions which may come from other people with different backgrounds.

Understanding those benefits of diversity, I really wish that no matter what background we have, which country we came, what religion we follow, what political party we choose and so on, it would be nice if we can stay close to each other in harmony, so that this diversity will not threat our life, but it could enrich and complete our life.

Written by Ati Paramita
Photo : The harmony of diversity at Taman Mini Indonesia Indah by Ati Paramita

Arti kebahagiaan dalam kesederhanaan

Beberapa hari yang lalu kebetulan saya bertemu seorang teman di kantornya yang eksklusif di kawasan Sudirman, Jakarta and we had a conversation about life. Sebut saja nama teman saya itu “Mr Executive” karena dia seorang executive director yang bisa dibilang mapan, dengan jabatan yang tinggi di sebuah perusahaan multinational. Usianya masih terbilang muda. Namun demikian, segala fasilitas materi sudah berhasil dia gapai. Dari mulai rumah yang indah di kawasan elit, mobil kantor dan mobil pribadi yang siap membawa dia dan keluarganya ke mana saja, dan gadget terbaru yang siap membantu semua aktifitasnya. Pendidikan dan posisi yang tinggi pun sudah berhasil dia raih. Bahkan berkali-kali dia meraih penghargaan dari dalam dan luar perusahaan tempat dia bekerja yang berbuah kenaikan gaji atau reward jalan-jalan ke luar negeri.

Tapi lucunya, ketika itu dia mengungkapkan kepada saya bahwa dia masih belum bahagia atas semua pencapaian itu. Dia mengatakan bahwa dia belum memiliki ini dan itu. Dia juga menceritakan bahwa ada beberapa teman satu angkatan waktu kuliahnya dia dulu sudah memiliki pencapaian materi yang jauh di atas dia. Di sela-sela pembicaraan, dia bahkan mengeluh berbagai hal yang tidak menyenangkan yang dia rasakan selama bekerja di perusahaan tersebut. Ketika saya tanya bagaimana definisi kebahagiaan menurut dia. Dia menuturkan bahwa “kebahagiaan adalah apabila kita bisa mendapatkan apa yang kita inginkan seperti posisi, gaji, pengakuan, fasilitas materi dan sebagainya”.

Saya jadi termenung kemudian. Ada pertanyaan mendasar yang terlintas dalam benak saya “Sedangkal itukah makna kebahagiaan?”. Kalau kebahagiaan identik dengan pencapaian keinginan atau materi, maka saya rasa hanya orang–orang tertentu saja yang akan mampu mencapainya. Kalau kebahagiaan selalu diperbandingkan dengan orang lain, maka mungkin “rumput tetangga akan selalu lebih hijau dari rumput di rumah sendiri”. Kalau kebahagiaan adalah suatu tujuan, maka pasti akan sangat sulitlah untuk mencapainya, karena tujuan itu sendiri sifatnya relatif, yang bisa berubah pada saat kita sudah mencapainya. Tetapi apakah makna kebahagiaan memang hanya sedemikian?

Lalu muncul pertanyaan lain dalam pikiran saya : bagaimana dengan seorang yang kebetulan dilahirkan dalam kondisi yang tidak mampu secara materi atau memiliki kekurangan secara fisik? Apakah mereka lantas tidak layak untuk mencapai kebahagiaan seperti definisi yang dituturkan oleh teman saya Si Mr. Executive itu.

Beberapa hari kemudian, saya juga sempat bertemu dengan seorang teman yang lain. Sebut saja namanya “Mr Simple”. Dia berprofesi seorang cleaning service di salah sebuah perusahaan. Usianya bisa dibilang tidak lagi muda, karena rambutnya yang nyaris putih semua. Tetapi raut wajahnya yang teduh dan senyum selalu terpancar di mukanya membuat saya selalu asyik bila ngobrol dengannya. Saya bertemu dengan teman saya tersebut di halaman kantornya yang rindang, sehabis dia selesai menyapu dedaunan yang jatuh berserakan di tanah. Saya mengobrol santai dengannya di suasana sore yang cerah itu. Ketika saya bercerita tentang perjuangan saya untuk bisa survive hidup di luar negeri. Dengan arifnya dia bilang kepada saya tanpa meninggalkan logat jawanya yang kental “Sampunlah mboten sah dipun penggalih, urip puniko njih mekaten, dipun sekecakaken kemawon sak wontenipun, mangkih lak njur kepenak” (Sudahlah, tidak usah dipikirkan, hidup itu ya memang begitu, dinikmati saja apa adanya, nanti kan enak menjalaninya).

Saya tercekat mencermati kalimatnya yang sederhana, tetapi cukup dalam maknanya. Kemudian, saya bertanya lebih jauh mengenai apa makna kebahagiaan untuknya. Dengan santainya dia menjawab “Ya seperti ini, selesai menyapu saya duduk di bawah pohon yang rindang, merasakan angin sepoi-sepoi, sambil menikmati secangkir kopi yang dipesan dari warung tegal di sebelah kantor”. Saya seperti tersentak tersadarkan diri mendengar penjelasannya. Saya yang sudah melanglang buana ke sana kemari, ternyata belum bisa memahami arti kebahagiaan yang ternyata sangat sederhana seperti yang dituturkan oleh Mr. Simple.

Saya lalu berpikir : mengapa kita harus menunggu untuk mencapai sebuah kebahagiaan? Kebahagiaan bukanlah tujuan seperti kata teman saya si Mr. Executive itu. Kebahagiaan adalah jalan menuju apapun tujuan kita. Kebahagiaan ada di mana-mana di sekitar kita dan kita tidak perlu repot mencarinya. Yang kita perlukan hanyalah satu ‘merasa bahagia’ dengan apapun kondisi kita. Karena sangat simplenya makna kebahagiaan itu, sehingga otak kita yang terbiasa kita gunakan untuk menganalisa berbagai kerumitan menjadi tidak peka dengan kesederhanaan tersebut. Barangkali teman saya Mr. Executive perlu belajar untuk melihat dan menerapkan makna kebahagiaan dari Mr. Simple.

Saya lalu tersenyum, di dalam hati saya berkata bahwa saya tidak akan menunggunya sampai saya mencapai sesuatu tujuan untuk bisa bahagia. Saya memutuskan bahwa saya berhak untuk bahagia sekarang ini juga. Perlahan-lahan saya hirup aroma wedang jahe yang ada di depan saya dan kemudian saya menyeruputnya. Hmmm……. Betapa nikmatnya. Ternyata hanya dengan sebuah wedang jahe panas di musim hujan yang dingin begini saya merasakan dan memahami makna kebahagiaan.

Written by Ati Paramita

Photo : Beautifulness in Simplicity by Denny Surya Martha

Attachment is the root of suffering

Since we were born,
We have been attached with everything that we bring.
We may have the colors of our skin.
We may bring our looks.
We may be gifted our talents.
And many things.

Sometimes these labels make us so proud,
That “we are rich”
That “we are good looking”
That “we are the best”

Then we grow older.
Our attachment increases,
Not only with the things that we brought,
But also with the new things that we achieved

We may have several new titles,
That “we graduated from a reputable university”
That “we married with an important person”
That “we manage a big corporation”

But, who are we without those attributes?
Can we still alive without all of those things?
Our achievement, our appearance, our belongings, our titles, our ideologies,

Attachment is the root of suffering.
Sometimes we forget that those things are only our clothes.
The clothes that we could not bring when we pass away.

Sometimes we attach so close.
Then we forget that those are only our tools,
Which help us to play our role in this world.

Therefore, appreciation should be given to those things.
But we should remain independent of them

Because those will not change our true existence,
That we are the free soul.
Who are supposed to be happy and peace,
Without all of those things

When detachment emerges.
We will have no fear anymore,
Cause no one can take the freedom that we have.
For standing in the meaning of true happiness.

Written by : Ati Paramita
Photo : The attachment of mushroom and loranthus to a tree by Ati Paramita