Life is beautiful

Having a cup of tea in the morning and seeing the beauty of blooming flowers were really refreshing. The butterflies danced around me, the birds sang beautifully and the wind blew slowly. All of these made the symphony of nature and my senses were pampered with the beauty of nature.

Experiencing all of those things made me realize how I forgot to enjoy the life. Targets, planning, deadline, responsibilities and so on have filled in my life and looked like so real so that I forgot that I am not those targets, planning, etc. I have identified myself into my role so deeply, so that I forgot that no matter what role I play, it’s just a temporary role and it’s not mine at all. I played my role as best as I can, but when everybody around me didn’t play as best as I do, I became so upset. I was also easily irritated when my role was being bothered by the external conditions such as the presence and moods of everybody around me, the weather which may change suddenly, the television program which sometimes provide uneducated program and the internal conditions such as physical illness, fluctuated moods along the day. Why did I become so fragile? Where did my all my power go?

This morning, getting a chance to be here, to be present at the moment when I was enjoying the beauty of everything surrounds me made me feel that I found my treasure back which has been lost in the last few years. I am glad to find it cause I know that I am back on track and I know that I can find my way back home to the nature of my self to become peace, free from attachment in my role, and powerful. 

Written by : Ati Paramita

Photo : Blooming Flower by Ati Paramita

Embracing changes

Why do we have to escape from changes?

Because no matter how fast we tried to run away from changes, 
we cannot stop changes to occur.

Time will not stop moving.

Age will not stop growing.

Seasons will not stop changing.

It is easier to swim in the ocean through following the waves than to direct against them, isn’t it?

It is also easier to dress according to the seasons than to insist wearing the same dress all the time, isn’t it?

Embrace the changes.

As the changes are not our enemies.

But indeed, these are our guides which will help and nurture us to grow.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2014.

May the moment of changes will help you to transform your life.

Written by Ati Paramita

Thanks to the changes which happened to me.

Thanks to all people who have been helped to transform my life.

Photo : Change a head exit sign, source: www.reachingcampus.com

Life is a matter of choice

In every step of our life, we have to face so many choices.
These choices challenge us to take a decision.
Having considered the choices that we have, sometimes we become panic and confuse.
Because when we try to imagine the consequences of every choice, sometimes it manifests into a good solution, or an ordinary thing, or even the worst one.

So often, these choices and consequences make us confusing in taking a decision.
However, there is one important question that we can keep in mind when we make a decision. This question will help us to stay on track: “What is the purpose of our life?”
The main purpose of our life will guide our journey of life.

Of course, there are so many considerations will always come into our mind when we were making a decision such as: the society values, a realistic choice, a cost and benefit analysis, etc.
But then, a question comes up whether we are ready to become an “object” of our desire?

Sometimes, we just need to “let it flow”.
Sometimes, the most important thing is not on the decision itself, but on how do we responsible to every decision that we take and how do we enjoy each moment in our choice.
So that no matter what a decision that we take, we will find the true value of our life.

Written by : Christina Susanti
Photo : Signing boards at Madurodam by Ati Paramita



Thanks for the wonderful poem, Tina.
It reminds us to stay joyful in every choice we take !

Photo : Christina Susanti

Gratitude is a key of happiness

Photo : A lotus flower stands behind the leaves by Agus Setiyono 

Happy New Year 2010

A year has changed.
Leaving us so many stories behind.

Sometimes we call this story as “a good memory”,
so that we want to recall it many times.
It is such a time when we like to play our favorite music on our CD player.
We replay it again and again, till satisfying our needs.

But, sometimes we also find “a bad story”,
so that we don’t want to keep it in our memory.
If possible, we may want to delete it in our mind.
Or we may pretend that those moments have never happened in our life.

Indeed, there is no such a good or bad story.
When the rain drops,
Some people call it “a disaster”,
Because it may cause flood.
But, some people may also call it “a gift”,
Because the rain water made the dry field wet.

Again, there is no such a good or bad story.
It is only a matter of our way of seeing.
If we want to see it as a good thing, then a good story will manifest.
But if we want to see it as a bad thing, then a bad moment will appear.

A year has changed.
Leaving us so many stories behind.

No matter how good or how bad the stories that we have last year,
Unfortunately, these moments did not belong to us anymore.
Because these have already become our past.
And what we have now is our present time.

So, let’s start this year with gratitude.
Gratitude will help us to become the “owner” of our life.
Gratitude is also one of the ways to raise our consciousness.
Through gratitude, there will be no good or bad story anymore,
Because we consciously decide whether it will become a “good or bad” story.

Happy New Year 2010
May peacefulness dan happiness will always be with you.

Written by : Ati Paramita
Photo : Starting a day with gratitude at Lempong Pucung, Cilacap by Three Wy

When we encounter a complex problem in life

Have you ever entered into a labyrinth? Labyrinth is a maze with an intricate structure of interconnecting passages, but it seems does not have an entrance and exit doors, so that will be very difficult to find a way out. A labyrinth actually has both entrance and exit doors, however those are hidden in the alley.Therefore, when we enter into a labyrinth, we often find the wrong direction and it forces us to try it again and again. The more we feel panic, the more we find difficulties to get a way out of a labyrinth. We will only go around and spin in a labyrinth, because we feel trapped and we can not see the way out.
Sometimes in life, we often encounter a complex problem in which we feel that it is really hard to find a way out. It is such an analogy of entering into a labyrinth.

There are several possible causes. Our unrealistic perspective, our mind which is dominated by our ego, our impatience to make efforts and to wait for a result, our limited time, the conflict of interests of everybody around us and there are many other reasons that make us feel stuck and be a victim of the situation.

When we are in such condition, there are several tips that I could share to overcome this situation:

First, acknowledge that indeed we have a problem. We may cry, shout, share it to other people or compensate it to other things. However, we should not run away from the reality. Embrace and face the problem. Because no matter how fast we run out of the problem, we still have to face similar problem at another time. If we ignore to settle the problem when it comes, sometimes the impact of the problem could be more complicated in the future. Therefore, keep in mind that actually a problem is not a bad thing, because it serves as a way of reflection or "homework" to correct our inappropriate attitude in order to be more mature in life.

Second, calmness or tranquility is the second key word. A problem will not be solved only because we force to solve it. The more we become panic and impatience, the more our mind become overloaded, distracted and exhausted. Providing the opportunity for resting our mind, such as doing meditation, relaxation or praying; our mind will recover from its exhaustion and will be ready to provide a way out.When we are at the state of peace, we listen with attention and totally present, therefore it opens many possibilities of solutions.

Third, be grateful.Gratitude is appreciation for everything (place, people, life, thing) surrounds us. Through gratitude we learn to appreciate everything and to see it with the different eyes. Therefore, gratitude is a key to boundless opportunity when we get caught in our limited certainty, because through seeing with different eyes and appreciation, we will find the real values of everything surrounds us and these will give us an opportunity to see many possible ways out of problem.

Fourth, sometimes we just need a problem to be solved by its time. Do we realize that so far we have developed a habit of wanting everything right now, at this moment and not a second later? Everything requires efforts. In this case, patience is the next keyword, because patience taught us to learn and to wait. Furthermore, patience will help us to analyze the problems step by step and to set up a priority scale of the things that we have to do.

Fifth, in setting up a priority scale, try to give priority to settle the main source of problem, not just the symptoms of problem. The difference of solving the main problem and the symptom is solving the main problem will have a long term and bigger impacts. But, it requires more efforts and more patience. If we are impatience and try to find an "instant solution", it will be effective only for short term. A peaceful mind will help to distinguish the main problem and the symptoms, because through peace we learn to settle our ego and to see the problem as it is.

Sixth, after finding a priority scale of the problem, then set up a planning and focus to solve them one by one. Focus means to direct our attention, to optimize our resources (energy, money, attention, and strategy) and to make our best efforts to settle the problem. If we focus to handle our problem seriously and persistently, the universe will open the door for a lot of solutions and help us to settle the rest of our problem.

The last but not least, if we have done our best, but then everything is happened not according to what we want. Just let it and follow the flow. Sometimes the universe has a better and more comprehensive planning than our own planning. Our narrow way of thinking sometimes is not always in line with what the universe designs for us. Following the flow means that we open for any possibility not only in our planning but also in our implementation. This will teach us to become more flexible for accepting any opportunity in life. As far as we could understand what the universe intends to us, just follow it, and it will provide the best and the most appropriate solution for us, no matter what it is.

So, if you encounter a complex and difficult problem in life, you don't have to be panic. Because indeed there are many solutions available there. Sometimes we could not see these solutions because our ego is too dominant and our way of seeing is too narrow. Therefore, through a peaceful mind, we will be able to see a lot of possibilities and to find a way out. Good Luck !

Written by Ati Paramita
Photo : A labyrinth in Drielanden by Ati Paramita

Arti kebahagiaan dalam kesederhanaan

Beberapa hari yang lalu kebetulan saya bertemu seorang teman di kantornya yang eksklusif di kawasan Sudirman, Jakarta and we had a conversation about life. Sebut saja nama teman saya itu “Mr Executive” karena dia seorang executive director yang bisa dibilang mapan, dengan jabatan yang tinggi di sebuah perusahaan multinational. Usianya masih terbilang muda. Namun demikian, segala fasilitas materi sudah berhasil dia gapai. Dari mulai rumah yang indah di kawasan elit, mobil kantor dan mobil pribadi yang siap membawa dia dan keluarganya ke mana saja, dan gadget terbaru yang siap membantu semua aktifitasnya. Pendidikan dan posisi yang tinggi pun sudah berhasil dia raih. Bahkan berkali-kali dia meraih penghargaan dari dalam dan luar perusahaan tempat dia bekerja yang berbuah kenaikan gaji atau reward jalan-jalan ke luar negeri.

Tapi lucunya, ketika itu dia mengungkapkan kepada saya bahwa dia masih belum bahagia atas semua pencapaian itu. Dia mengatakan bahwa dia belum memiliki ini dan itu. Dia juga menceritakan bahwa ada beberapa teman satu angkatan waktu kuliahnya dia dulu sudah memiliki pencapaian materi yang jauh di atas dia. Di sela-sela pembicaraan, dia bahkan mengeluh berbagai hal yang tidak menyenangkan yang dia rasakan selama bekerja di perusahaan tersebut. Ketika saya tanya bagaimana definisi kebahagiaan menurut dia. Dia menuturkan bahwa “kebahagiaan adalah apabila kita bisa mendapatkan apa yang kita inginkan seperti posisi, gaji, pengakuan, fasilitas materi dan sebagainya”.

Saya jadi termenung kemudian. Ada pertanyaan mendasar yang terlintas dalam benak saya “Sedangkal itukah makna kebahagiaan?”. Kalau kebahagiaan identik dengan pencapaian keinginan atau materi, maka saya rasa hanya orang–orang tertentu saja yang akan mampu mencapainya. Kalau kebahagiaan selalu diperbandingkan dengan orang lain, maka mungkin “rumput tetangga akan selalu lebih hijau dari rumput di rumah sendiri”. Kalau kebahagiaan adalah suatu tujuan, maka pasti akan sangat sulitlah untuk mencapainya, karena tujuan itu sendiri sifatnya relatif, yang bisa berubah pada saat kita sudah mencapainya. Tetapi apakah makna kebahagiaan memang hanya sedemikian?

Lalu muncul pertanyaan lain dalam pikiran saya : bagaimana dengan seorang yang kebetulan dilahirkan dalam kondisi yang tidak mampu secara materi atau memiliki kekurangan secara fisik? Apakah mereka lantas tidak layak untuk mencapai kebahagiaan seperti definisi yang dituturkan oleh teman saya Si Mr. Executive itu.

Beberapa hari kemudian, saya juga sempat bertemu dengan seorang teman yang lain. Sebut saja namanya “Mr Simple”. Dia berprofesi seorang cleaning service di salah sebuah perusahaan. Usianya bisa dibilang tidak lagi muda, karena rambutnya yang nyaris putih semua. Tetapi raut wajahnya yang teduh dan senyum selalu terpancar di mukanya membuat saya selalu asyik bila ngobrol dengannya. Saya bertemu dengan teman saya tersebut di halaman kantornya yang rindang, sehabis dia selesai menyapu dedaunan yang jatuh berserakan di tanah. Saya mengobrol santai dengannya di suasana sore yang cerah itu. Ketika saya bercerita tentang perjuangan saya untuk bisa survive hidup di luar negeri. Dengan arifnya dia bilang kepada saya tanpa meninggalkan logat jawanya yang kental “Sampunlah mboten sah dipun penggalih, urip puniko njih mekaten, dipun sekecakaken kemawon sak wontenipun, mangkih lak njur kepenak” (Sudahlah, tidak usah dipikirkan, hidup itu ya memang begitu, dinikmati saja apa adanya, nanti kan enak menjalaninya).

Saya tercekat mencermati kalimatnya yang sederhana, tetapi cukup dalam maknanya. Kemudian, saya bertanya lebih jauh mengenai apa makna kebahagiaan untuknya. Dengan santainya dia menjawab “Ya seperti ini, selesai menyapu saya duduk di bawah pohon yang rindang, merasakan angin sepoi-sepoi, sambil menikmati secangkir kopi yang dipesan dari warung tegal di sebelah kantor”. Saya seperti tersentak tersadarkan diri mendengar penjelasannya. Saya yang sudah melanglang buana ke sana kemari, ternyata belum bisa memahami arti kebahagiaan yang ternyata sangat sederhana seperti yang dituturkan oleh Mr. Simple.

Saya lalu berpikir : mengapa kita harus menunggu untuk mencapai sebuah kebahagiaan? Kebahagiaan bukanlah tujuan seperti kata teman saya si Mr. Executive itu. Kebahagiaan adalah jalan menuju apapun tujuan kita. Kebahagiaan ada di mana-mana di sekitar kita dan kita tidak perlu repot mencarinya. Yang kita perlukan hanyalah satu ‘merasa bahagia’ dengan apapun kondisi kita. Karena sangat simplenya makna kebahagiaan itu, sehingga otak kita yang terbiasa kita gunakan untuk menganalisa berbagai kerumitan menjadi tidak peka dengan kesederhanaan tersebut. Barangkali teman saya Mr. Executive perlu belajar untuk melihat dan menerapkan makna kebahagiaan dari Mr. Simple.

Saya lalu tersenyum, di dalam hati saya berkata bahwa saya tidak akan menunggunya sampai saya mencapai sesuatu tujuan untuk bisa bahagia. Saya memutuskan bahwa saya berhak untuk bahagia sekarang ini juga. Perlahan-lahan saya hirup aroma wedang jahe yang ada di depan saya dan kemudian saya menyeruputnya. Hmmm……. Betapa nikmatnya. Ternyata hanya dengan sebuah wedang jahe panas di musim hujan yang dingin begini saya merasakan dan memahami makna kebahagiaan.

Written by Ati Paramita

Photo : Beautifulness in Simplicity by Denny Surya Martha

Let's smile and the world will smile with us

Too often we assume that smiling is not important in our life. Maybe, it’s because smiling is very simple, so that we usually take it for granted. Many times we only smile on the specific cases, such as if there is something funny and it makes us smile, or if there is someone who smiles to us, then we response it also by smiling.

Indeed, smiling has so many benefits for our soul. One of the benefits : smiling is an effective way for improving our positive energy. When we feel down due to anger, disappointment, or sadness, let’s try to smile for a few minutes by remembering a funny thing or seeing a funny story. Then, progressively we will forget any negative feeling which has bothered us. Why? Because, smiling is commonly associated with happy feeling, so it will lead us to switch our focus of attention from the things that makes us restless, to the things that makes us feel good.

Another benefit of smiling is, when we give our smile to other person, it is also a signal that we treat this person as an important person in our life. This can change the negative mood of everybody surrounds us, so that they will feel comfortable with our presence. If they response it also by smiling, this positive energy will strengthen each other and will lead to a warmer and friendlier situation.

When I gave a seminar in a company about “positive attitude”, there was a question asked by the participants, “How can I smile, when I find a traffic jam on the way to go home or even when I remember the price of everything goes up during this economics crisis? “

Actually, smiling could also bring us to see a positive side of everything, it will also lead us to be grateful for anything that we have. So, if we found a traffic jam on the way to go home, let’s smile and be grateful that we still have a good job although we have to pass a long traffic jam. Meanwhile, there are a lot of people who are still struggling to find a job or who were laid-off by their companies due to this economics crisis. If we found that the price of everything goes up, let’ smile and be grateful that we still have good health, so that we can do many activities such as working (to fulfill our responsibilities to provide the main needs for our family), whereas there are other people who are still struggling with malnutrition or poverty.

The main point is as often as we smile and feel grateful with anything which happens to us, it will be easier for us to see a good and fun side of that thing. In a long term, it will build the positive habit and attitude towards us, so that could bring a lot of positive things such as lucks and happiness in our life.

So, have you smiled today? Let’s smile and the world will smile with us !!

Written by Ati Paramita
Photo : Smiling by Three Wy

Tersenyumlah, maka dunia akan tersenyum bersama kita

Kadang kita menganggap bahwa senyum bukanlah sesuatu yang penting di dalam hidup. Karena saking simpelnya sebuah senyum itu, sehingga kita sering mengganggapnya sebagai sesuatu hal yang biasa, yang hanya kita lakukan pada saat-saat tertentu bila ada sesuatu yang membuat kita geli sehingga kita tersenyum, atau bila kita berhadapan dengan seseorang yang memberi kita senyum sehingga kita membalas dengan tersenyum.

Padahal, senyum memiliki banyak manfaat bagi jiwa kita. Salah satu manfaat tersebut adalah senyum merupakan sebuah cara yang ampuh untuk mendatangkan energi positif. Cobalah ketika perasaan kita sedang tidak enak entah karena marah, kecewa, atau sedih, kemudian kita tersenyum dengan lepas selama beberapa menit. Maka, perlahan-lahan beban yang mengganggu kita akan terasa berkurang. Mengapa? Karena senyum akan menuntun kita untuk memindahkan fokus perhatian dari hal-hal yang meresahkan dan menggantinya dengan hal-hal yang menyenangkan, sehingga energi negatif kita akan tergantikan dengan energi positif.

Manfaat lainnya adalah apabila kita tersenyum dengan tulus kepada orang lain, hal tersebut juga merupakan suatu signal yang kita kirimkan bahwa kita memandang penting makna orang lain tersebut bagi kita. Senyum tulus yang kita berikan akan dapat merubah mood orang-orang di sekitar kita, sehingga mereka merasa lebih nyaman dengan kehadiran kita. Dan apabila mereka membalas dengan senyum juga, maka energi positif itu akan saling memperkuat dan akan mengalirkan suasana yang hangat dan penuh persahabatan.

Ketika saya memberikan training mengenai “positive attitude”, beberapa peserta sering menanyakan kepada saya, “Bagaimana mungkin untuk bisa tersenyum kalau pulang dari kantor melihat jalanan macet, apalagi mengingat harga-harga bahan makanan yang membumbung tinggi di tengah krisis ekonomi ini?”.

Sebetulnya senyum juga akan melatih kita untuk membiasakan diri memandang segala sesuatu yang terjadi pada diri kita dari sisi positif, menuntun kita untuk mensyukuri segala sesuatu yang kita miliki. Jadi kalau pulang dari kantor, kita melihat jalanan macet, mari kita tersenyum dan bersyukur bahwa kita masih dikarunia oleh Tuhan, pekerjaan, tempat kita mencari nafkah walapun kita harus melewati kemacetan untuk berangkat dan pulang dari kantor, sementara itu banyak orang yang kesulitan mendapat pekerjaan atau bahkan terkena pemutusan hubungan kerja (PHK). Kalau kita teringat harga-harga bahan makanan yang membumbung tinggi, mari kita tersenyum dan bersyukur bahwa kita masih dikaruniai oleh Tuhan, kesehatan, sehingga kita tetap dapat bekerja dan memenuhi kebutuhan pokok keluarga kita.

Intinya adalah semakin sering kita tersenyum dan mensyukuri keadaan yang terjadi pada diri kita, maka akan semakin mudah bagi kita untuk melihat sisi yang menyenangkan dari suatu peristiwa atau keadaan, apapun itu. Dan dalam jangka panjang hal tersebut akan menjadikan sebuah kebiasaan positif bagi kita, sehingga akan dapat mendatangkan energi positif yang lebih kuat dan membawa berbagai keberuntungan bagi kita.

Jadi, sudahkah anda tersenyum hari ini? Tersenyumlah, maka dunia akan tersenyum bersama kita !!
Written by Ati Paramita

Makna keindahan dalam tetesan air di dedaunan

Sebetulnya butir-butir air di atas daun karena tetesan hujan di halaman rumah saya itu sudah sering terjadi, tetapi mengapa baru sekarang saya melihat keindahannya. Tetes-tetes air itu sedemikian indahnya dengan butir-butir yang membentuk tekstur acak di atas daun belimbing dan kadang-kadang berbaris rapi di batang daun mangga, ditambah lagi udara yang segar sehabis hujan, sehingga membuat hati dan mata saya tenang memandangnya. Ketika saya melihatnya lagi sore ini, saya keheranan, mengapa mata saya baru terbuka sekarang. Padahal saya sudah tinggal di rumah itu selama 5 tahun, berarti setiap habis hujan dalam kurun waktu tersebut, keindahan itu selalu ada di sana.

Pikiran saya yang terbiasa membuat “target” sedemikian rupa, sehingga saya tidak mampu dan tidak peka melihat keindahan di sekitar saya. Ternyata karena saking seringnya saya membuat target dan berusaha mencapainya, target-target itu tidak hanya tertuang di keseharian saya dalam bentuk pencapaian atas sesuatu, misalnya "performance improvement”, “budget efficiency” or whatever it is. Tetapi bahkan saya sudah memiliki target tersendiri tentang makna “keindahan” yang ingin saya nikmati.

Keindahan itu saya rancang dan targetkan sedemikian rupa misalnya “apabila saya menikmati pemandangan dan suasana indah kota Jogja”, “apabila saya makan enak di restaurant favorit saya yang bernuansa indah di Jakarta”, “apabila saya bisa membeli baju yang indah dipandang dan saya suka” dan seribu target keindahan lainnya. Untuk mencapai keindahan itupun, saya harus berusaha dan berjuang misalnya dengan menabung dan mengetatkan ikat pinggang semikian rupa, seperti berburu tiket diskon dari travel agent, melakukan reservasi di restaurant terlebih dahulu, hunting dari satu toko ke toko yang lain untuk mendapat baju yang saya inginkan dan sebagainya.

Kadang walaupun sudah saya rancang sedemikian rupa, tetapi saya gagal mencapai target keindahan itu dan akhirnya saya kecewa, seperti ketika saya sudah merancang akan menikmati keindahan kota Jogja, ternyata pada saat itu bersamaan dengan peak season, sehingga saya harus berusaha setengah mati untuk bisa mendapat tiket pesawat atau kereta untuk pulang pergi ke Jogja. Ketika sampai di Jogja dan jalan-jalan di kotanya-pun luar biasa padatnya. Jogja yang tidak terbiasa macet, membutuhkan waktu yang cukup lama untuk sampai ke satu tujuan. Demikian pula ketika sampai di objek-objek wisata dan pusat perbelanjaan Malioboro, saya harus berjuang untuk sekedar menembus kerumunan orang, hingga akhirnya saya memilih untuk pulang karena saya tidak bisa menikmatinya keindahannya.

Sore itu, saat saya melihat lagi butiran-butiran air di atas daun belimbing dan daun mangga, saya bersyukur kepada Tuhan bahwa keindahan tersebut ada di depan saya. Keindahan itu apa adanya ketika saya menikmatinya pada saat itu. Saya tidak perlu membuat target untuk bisa mendapatkannya, saya juga tidak perlu perjuangan untuk menikmatinya, bahkan keindahan tersebut free of charge yang bisa saya lihat dan nikmati at anytime.

Ketika saya melihat lagi di sekeliling saya, ternyata banyak juga keindahan-keindahan lainnya yang selama ini tidak saya lihat, misalnya ketika matahari bersinar, saya bisa melihat pantulan sinarnya yang keperakan di atas dedaunan, kicauan burung bernyanyi di pagi atau sore hari, atau kupu-kupu berwarna-warni yang terbang ke sana kemari.

Memahami segala keindahan di sekeliling saya tersebut, saya jadi teringat lagi akan sebuah kata bijak bahwa “Bagaimana kita memandang hidup ini sebagai sesuatu yang indah atau tidak indah, adalah tergantung dari cara kita memandangnya”. And it’s true !

Written by : Ati Paramita

Photo : Water drops on leaves by Ati Paramita